


Why Date When You Spam The Group Chat

by Rainy_Day_Lemonade



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Attempted Match-making, Bandaid- relationship, Bisexual Hinata Hajime, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Don't copy to another site, Dropping the F bomb on a regular basis, Explicit Language, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Group chat, Hinata Hajime Swears, Hiyoko Saionji Swears, Ibuki Uses Too Many Emojis, Inappropriate Humor, Junko? Never Heard Of Her, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito Is Obsessed With Hope, Komaeda Nagito Needs a Hug, Komahina- relationship - Freeform, Kuzusoda- relationship, M/M, Match-making, Mitarai Didn't Sign Up For This, Mitworai- relationship, Nonbinary Chou Koukou Kyuu no Sagishi | Ultimate Imposter, Other, Photobomb- relationship - Freeform, Rated M for Safety, Soapies- relationship - Freeform, Swearing, Tags May Change, Texting, They/Them Pronouns for Chou Koukou Kyuu no Sagishi | Ultimate Imposter, Ultimate Imposter Is A Good Partner, chat fic, chat fic with plot, please be kind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:01:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28358982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Day_Lemonade/pseuds/Rainy_Day_Lemonade
Summary: Mahiru creates a group chat so Hajime can seduce Komaeda, super-stealthy Cinderella-style.Romance blossoms from unexpected places... Most surprisingly, within Mahiru herself.Will romance be able to cross over to the real world?Will Komaeda figure out Hajime's identity?Will Ibuki ever stop spamming the group with emojis?Read to find out
Relationships: Chou Koukou Kyuu no Sagishi | Ultimate Imposter/Mitarai Ryota, Hinata Hajime & Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime & Soda Kazuichi, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Koizumi Mahiru & Hinata Hajime, Koizumi Mahiru & Mioda Ibuki & Saionji Hiyoko & Tsumiki Mikan, Koizumi Mahiru & Saionji Hiyoko, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko/Soda Kazuichi, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Mioda Ibuki & Tsumiki Mikan, Mioda Ibuki/Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 10
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome to this whacky walnut of a fic 😂😂
> 
> I'm trying to improve my motivation/inspiration to write- and actually finish my other chap fics- so this is going to an exercise in complete nonsense 😂 But hopefully entertaining nonsense! 
> 
> I tried to make everyone as in-character as possible- including with their texting styles. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!

**Mystery Inc:**

**5:28am**

**Ibonki:** HEY

 **Ibonki:** H3Y

**Ibonki: (❛̃ ͜ʖ❛̃)**

**Ibonki:** HEY

**Tiny Dancer:** WTF 

**Ibonki:** GOOD NOM NOM NOMMING EVERYONE ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ

 **Ibonki:** IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY FULL OF RED BULL AND LOVE

**Tiny Dancer:** It's literally 5:30 you fuckin weirdo

 **Tiny Dancer:** I was having such a good dream

**Ibonki:** Dreams are great

 **Ibonki:** Ibuki loves dreams

 **Ibonki:** Esp dreams with marshmallows

 **Ibonki:** and dolphins

 **Ibonki:** and fire

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Ibonki:** One dream everyone had octopuses on their face

 **Ibonki:** Octopuses?

 **Ibonki:** Octopi

 **Ibonki:** Octopises

**Nurse Joy:** Good morning everyone

**Tiny Dancer:** It was before you idiots ruined it

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** I swear I'm deleting this chat

_Ibonki is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**My Hero:** You say that every time, Hiyoko

**Tiny Dancer:** Mahiru!!!

 **Tiny Dancer:** You're the only reason I haven't 😒😂

**Nurse Joy:** I'm sorry!!!! I didn't mean to ruin anyone's morning, I'm so sorry!!!

**Ibonki:** Nah nah nah

 **Ibonki:** ≧◠‿●‿◠≦

 **Ibonki:** Mikan makes Ibukis day shiny! 

**Ibonki:** Shiny shiny! (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)👌

**Tiny Dancer:** WTF DOES THAT EMOJI MEAN

**Ibonki:** (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)👌

**My Hero:** Everyone, I need some help...

_Tiny Dancer is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Ibonki:** AIGHT LEMME JUST

_**Ibonki changed their nickname to 'Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea'** _

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** OK READY

**Tiny Dancer:** tf

 **Tiny Dancer:** nvm

 **Tiny Dancer:** What's up Mahiru? ❤  
  


_My Hero is typing_

_My Hero is typing_

**My Hero:**... It's kinda a long story

* * *

_Private Chat- Mum Friend, Useless Hajime_

**7:00am**

**Mum Friend:** Hey Hajime, remember that thing we talked about yesterday?

 **Mum Friend:** The thing where I solve all your problems /j

 **Mum Friend:** Yeah I'm gonna add you to the chat

 **Mum Friend:** You have ten minutes to back out

**7:30am**

**Useless Hajime: ...**

**Useless Hajime:** WAIT

 **Useless Hajime:** WAIT NO FUCK

 **Useless Hajime:** I SLEPT IN FUCK MAHIRU NO

* * *

**Mystery Inc:**

**7:11am**

**_My Hero added Hajime Hinata to the chat_ **

**_My Hero changed Hajime Hinata's name to 'Useless Hajime'_ **

**7:32am**

**Useless Hajime:** Fuck

* * *

**8:00am**

**Tiny Dancer:** Ewwwwwwwwww

 **Tiny Dancer:** Mahiruuuuuuu

 **Tiny Dancer:** Whyd you add some rando to the chat

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** ASDDFGHJKLKJHGFDSAS

 **Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** IT'S HAJIMEME

 **Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** HEY HAJIMEME

 **Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** HEY 

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** HEY

**Useless Hajime:** Um... I'm guessing that's Ibuki?

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** ASDFGHJKL; 

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT HAJIMEME

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea: ≧◠ᴥ◠≦✊**

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** omg Mikan stop

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Nurse Joy:** I'M SO SORRY

**Useless Hajime:** um

**My Hero:** OK, now that everyone's here

 **My Hero:** Time to get down to business

**Useless Hajime:** No

 **Useless Hajime:** There is no business

 **Useless Hajime:** Nope

_**Useless Hajime has left the chat** _

**_My Hero has added Useless Hajime to the chat_ **

**My Hero:** You can't run, idiot

**Tiny Dancer:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)👌

**My Hero:** Girls, I have a proposition

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** For Hiyoko

_My Hero is typing_

_Tiny Dancer is typing_

**My Hero:** Ibuki, I'm serious

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** So am I (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)👌

_T_ _i_ _ny Dancer is typing_

**My Hero:** Look, what would you all say is the greatest disruption to our school lives?

_Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea is typing_

**My Hero:** No sex jokes Ibuki

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** OH OH

 **Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** Is it Nekomarus obsession with shitting

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Nurse Joy:** I'm afraid that's a whole issue in itself

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** ASDFGHJKL

 **Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** TEA

 **Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** **(👍≖‿‿≖)👍 👍(≖‿‿≖👍)**

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**My Hero:** No

 **My Hero:** Also, gross

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**My Hero:** No, our biggest issue is Komaeda and his... Well, you know

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** Hope boner

**My Hero:** IBUKI

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** It's a hope boner

**Useless Hajime:** I leave the chat for five minutes, and this is what I come back to

**Tiny Dancer:** Why are you here at all

**Useless Hajime:** I dunno, maybe I spited god

_Tiny Dancer is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:**... Yeah ok

**Nurse Joy:** I'm assuming Hajime is the, uh, solution to our problem??

 **Nurse Joy:** But I don't see how...

 **Nurse Joy:** I'M SORRY THAT WAS MEAN 

**My Hero:** That's right, Mikan! Hajime here is going to make everyone happy, including Komaeda- because we're going to set them up

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** AWWWWWWWWWWWW

**Tiny Dancer:** ... ew

**Useless Hajime:** HAH

 **Useless Hajime:** What makes you think I wanna date Komaeda

 **Useless Hajime:** Or that he'd wanna date me

 **Useless Hajime:** He hates my guts, remember

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** Enemies to friends to lovers

**Useless Hajime:** No

**Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** Slow burn

 **Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea:** ✨(っ◔︣◡◔᷅)っc(◕︣◡◕᷅c)✨

**Useless Hajime:** Where is she getting these from

**My Hero:** Hajime, you literally look at him with these pathetic lovesick eyes every time he walks past

 **My Hero:** And he doesn't hate YOU... Just the fact you're a Reserve Course student

**Useless Hajime:** Ah yes

 **Useless Hajime:** That makes a difference

**My Hero:** It will, just give this a chance 

**Tiny Dancer:** So what are we doing??? I'm so lost

**My Hero:** We're going to make a new group chat with all of us and Komaeda

 **My Hero:** Maybe a few others to avoid suspicion

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**My Hero:** Hajime this is your chance to actually hold a decent conversation with him. He won't know who you are, we'll say you're an international student or something

 **My Hero:** Your class won't matter when he knows the real you

_Useless Hajime is typing_

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** ... Fine

 **Useless Hajime:** But if this doesn't work, you owe me like

 **Useless Hajime:** a life's worth of mochi

**My Hero:** Deal

* * *

_Private chat- Mum Friend, Useless Hajime_

**10am**

**Useless Hajime:** OK Mahiru, you win

 **Useless Hajime:** But does this mean you're gonna deal with your own crush? 

_Mum Friend is typing_

**Mum Friend:** I have no idea what you're talking about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one:  
> Me: So Ibuki listens to Fall Out Boy, and you can't change my mind (ง︡'-'︠)ง
> 
> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed ❤ 
> 
> I'm planning to update every few days, so expect chap 2 soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two is hereeeeeeeeeee  
> I'm having way too much fun with this omg 😂😂  
> Ibuki feels like the kinda person who'd change their nickname every few hours, so please keep that in mind 😂 Don't worry, her name will become more consistent soon
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> CURRENT NICKNAMES:
> 
> Mahiru- My Hero
> 
> Hajime- Useless Hajime
> 
> Ibuki- Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea
> 
> Hiyoko- Tiny Dancer
> 
> Mikan- Nurse Joy

**New Group Chat** **:**

**4:32pm**

_**Mahiru Koizumi created the group chat 'SHSL Spam Chat'** _

_**Mahiru Koizumi changed their name to 'My Hero'** _

_**My Hero added Hiyoko Saionji, Hajime Hinata, Ibuki Mioda and Tsumiki Mikan to the chat** _

**Ibuki Mioda:** HECK YES ASDFGGHJKL

_**Ibuki Mioda changed their name to 'Babooshka'** _

**Hiyoko Saionji:** wtf just pick a name and stick w it

_**Hiyoko Saionji changed their name to 'Tiny Dancer'** _

**Babooshka:**... Nah

**Babooshka: ( ◑‿◑)ɔ┏🍟--🍔┑٩(^◡^ )**

_**Tsumiki Mikan changed their name to 'Nurse Joy'** _

**Hajime Hinata:** fuck what do I change my name to

 **Hajime Hinata:** he cant know its me

**Tiny Dancer:** lol how bout this

_**Tiny Dancer changed Hajime Hinata's name to 'Useful Hajime'** _

**Useful Hajime:** haha

**Useful Hajime: 🖕**

**Tiny Dancer:** I like this guy

_**My Hero changed Useful Hajime's name to 'Mimosa Man'** _

**Mimosa Man:** what

 **Mimosa Man:** oh

**My Hero:** orange juice

**Mimosa Man:** orange juice, right

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** yeah ok

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Nurse Joy:** So is anyone else going to be in this chat? What if Komaeda gets suspicious?

**Babooshka:** np babe!!!

**Babooshka: (👍≖‿‿≖)👍 👍(≖‿‿≖👍)**

**Babooshka:** Ibuki's been chatting with trustworthy allies!!

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** How many agreed tho

**Babooshka:** Like 2

 **Babooshka:** Better than Ibuki expected!

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing  
_

**Mimosa Man:** great

 **Mimosa Man:** So now everyone knows about

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** IT

**Babooshka:** Chiaki already knew lol lol lol

**Babooshka: (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)👌**

_Mimosa Man is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**My Hero:** Mitarai's working on homework tonight, so it's just Chiaki for now. I'll add her now

_**My Hero added Nanami Chiaki** _

**Nanami Chiaki:** oh 

**Babooshka:** Hey hey hey Chiakiiiiiii

_Nanami Chiaki is typing_

_Nanami Chiaki is typing_

**Babooshka:** ٩(˘◡˘)۶

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nanami Chiaki is typing_

_Nanami Chiaki is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** you ok Chiaki?

_Nanami Chiaki is typing_

**Nanami Chiaki:** oh srry distracted

_Nanami Chiaki changed their name to 'Ms Pac Man'_

**Ms Pac Man:** 😁

**My Hero:** OK we're good to go?

**Babooshka:** YEAHHHHHHH

**Mimosa Man:** Not really

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** 😿

**_My Hero added Nagito Komaeda to the chat_ **

**My Hero:** Hey Komaeda 😄

**Nurse Joy:** IBUKI JUST CALLED ME BABY

* * *

**2:30pm**

**Tiny Dancer:** this fucker not even gonna respond 

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** can I tag people

 **Tiny Dancer:** oi _@Nagito Komaeda_

 **Tiny Dancer:** get ur butt over here

**Nurse Joy:** I'm sure he has a good reason 

**Nurse Joy:** Not that I'm trying to argue!

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** What a pain

* * *

**7:32pm**

_Nagito Komaeda is typing_

**Nagito Komaeda:** Oh my! I'm terribly sorry Mahiru, my wi-fi reception has been rather spotty today. I didn't receive any of these notifications. 

**Nagito Komaeda:** Whoever this Tiny Dancer person is, I have to admit they are right. How rude of me to ignore you all, even if by mistake. I really am trash. 

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** No, you're fine, man.

 **Mimosa Man:** That's Hiyoko btw

 **Mimosa Man:** If that makes you feel better, idk

**Nagito Komaeda:** Ah, how stupid of me! Of course the Ultimate Dancer would choose such a name hahaha

 **Nagito Komaeda:** Thank you for trying to make me feel better, though, you're too kind. 

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Nagito Komaeda:** I'm afraid I can't tell who you are? Your username doesn't give much away

 **Nagito Komaeda:** Maybe a real Ultimate could tell, but alas hahaha

_Mimosa Man is typing_

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** Right, sorry! I'm Hinata, I'm studying abroad.

 **Mimosa Man:** Um, what do you mean, a "real Ultimate"?

_Nagito Komaeda is typing_

**Nagito Komaeda:** It's a pleasure to meet you, Hinata-kun. Ah, I'm sorry, that must have sounded rather odd. I'm the Ultimate Lucky Student, which frankly makes me the most worthless student in my class hahaha. My classmates like Hiyoko are far superior to me haha

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Ms Pac Man:** oh ko

_Ms Pac Man is typing_

**Ms Pac Man:** komaedas here

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Nagito Komaeda:** I am indeed! I'm sorry for making you all wait. I was just telling Hinata-kun how useless I am haha

_Ms Pac Man is typing_

_Ms Pac Man is typing  
_

**Ms Pac Man:** no ur not

**Nagito Komaeda:** You're too kind... Chiaki-san?

_Ms Pac Man is typing_

_Ms Pac Man is typing_

**Ms Pac Man:** ye

**Babooshka:** AND I

 **Babooshka:** BU

 **Babooshka:** KI

 **Babooshka:** PUT IT TOGETHERY OU GET

 **Babooshka:** IBUKIIIIIIIII

 **Babooshka:** ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`▭´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

**Tiny Dancer:** STOP SPAMMING YOU WEIRDOS 

**Babooshka:** But Hope Boners here!!!

**Tiny Dancer:** wat

_**Babooshka changed Nagito Komaeda's name to 'Hope Boner'** _

**Mimosa Man:** I 

**Babooshka:** (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)👌

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Hajime doesn't come across as too OOC. I just love the idea of him and Hiyoko bonding over sass 😂
> 
> Also, I figured since Hinata is a fairly common surname- AND given name- Komaeda wouldn't be suuuper suspicious. That and Hajime's low-key a panicking idiot 😂🤷
> 
> Thank you for reading! Next chap coming soon


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooooooo chapter three! 
> 
> I am amazed that my posting for this fic is so... consistent 😂😂 I have to warn you all, updates may become a bit slower in the future.
> 
> Regardless, thank you so much for reading this far! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> CURRENT NICKNAMES:  
> Mahiru- My Hero
> 
> Hajime- Mimosa Man
> 
> Ibuki- Babooshka
> 
> Hiyoko- Tiny Dancer
> 
> Mikan- Nurse Joy
> 
> Komaeda- Hope Boner (I'm so sorry)

**SHSL Group Chat :**

**8:47pm**

**My Hero:**... wow

 **My Hero:** I mute my phone for one hour

 **My Hero:** And someone changes Komaeda's name to 'Hope Boner'

**Mimosa Man:** It's ok you can say Ibuki

**My Hero:** You didn't try and stop her? 

**My Hero:** Jeez

**Mimosa Man:** Excuse me

 **Mimosa Man:** Name one person who has EVER been able to stop Ibuki

**My Hero:** Mitarai Ryota

**Mimosa Man:** Never heard of him

**Hope Boner:** Oh, Mitarai-san is a wonderful classmate, Hinata-kun! The Ultimate Animator, I hear his skill is beyond imagination

_My Hero is typing_

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Hope Boner:** I've heard his work can make the most stoic person cry with joy! What glorious hope such an anime must inspire!

**My Hero:** Komaeda, you can change your username if you want. You don't have to keep it like... That

**Mimosa Man:** Yeah Ibukis just fuckin around

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Hope Boner:** Thank you both for your concern, I am truly undeserving of such kindness! But honestly, I feel blessed to have an Ultimate choose my username. To reject it would be despair-inducing for everyone!

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**My Hero:** OK then, as long as you're ok with it

**Hope Boner:** Oh, I am more than "ok" 

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Hope Boner:** I am honoured to be included in this group chat- frankly, I don't deserve such an honour. But I have to ask what the purpose of this chat is?

_My Hero is typing_

**My Hero:** It's mostly just a span chat, to be honest

 **My Hero:** *spam

 **My Hero:** Just to chat and have fun 

**Hope Boner:** Oh I see! I'm sorry for seeming so clueless, I'm not very familiar with group chat etiquette ahaha. No surprise, most people find me quite detestable

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**My Hero:** Don't be stupid Komaeda. We wouldn't have added you if we didn't like you

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Hope Boner:** I suppose that makes sense, Mahiru-san. You're all too kind

* * *

_Private Chat- Mum Friend, Useless Hajime_

**9:16pm**

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** Damn

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** I knew he's different with the Ultimates but... He's like a completely different person

**Mum Friend:** Yeah, I know

_Mum Friend is typing_

**Mum Friend:** I know this sounds awful, but you kind of get used to it

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** I dont want to

 **Useless Hajime:** get used to it

_Mum Friend is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** Like, I still wanna get to know him, its not that

 **Useless Hajime:** I just

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** I dont know how to explain it

**Mum Friend:** No I get it

_Mum Friend is typing_

**Mum Friend:** You're a good guy

**11:38pm**

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** That was a good comment lol

**12:03am**

**Mum Friend:** dont ruin the moment idiot

* * *

**SHSL Group Chat :**

**5:42am**

_**Babooshka changed their name to 'Gotta Catch Em All'** _

**Gotta Catch Em All:** GOOD NOM NOM NOMMMING EVERYONE

**Gotta Catch Em All: 💪 (`▿´) 👊**

**Gotta Catch Em All: 💪 (`▿´) 👊**

**Gotta Catch Em All: ( ≖.≖)**

**Gotta Catch Em All: ≧◠‿◠≦✌**

_Nurse Joy is typing  
_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Gotta Catch Em All:** GOOD MORNING MIKAN

**Gotta Catch Em All: (っ◔◡◔)っ ❤**

**Nurse Joy:** Good morning Ibuki **😊**

**Gotta Catch Em All:** AHHHHH MIKAN SENT ME A SMILEY

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** SO CUTE

**Gotta Catch Em All: ❤(ˆ‿ˆԅ)**

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Gotta Catch Em All:** Mikan is up early today

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Nurse Joy:** Yes, I volunteered to help the science lab clean up after yesterday...

**Gotta Catch Em All:** AHHHH YESSSSS

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** THE BOOM BOOM

**Nurse Joy:** Why are you up Ibuki? 

**Nurse Joy:** If you don't mind me asking of course!!

 **Nurse Joy:** Please don't feel obligated to say!!

**Gotta Catch Em All:** Ibuki woke up to watch the sunrise!!!1!1

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** Sooooooooo pretty

**Nurse Joy:** That does sound nice **😊**

_Gotta Catch Em All is typing_

**Gotta Catch Em All:** OOOOOOOOOOOH

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** TWO SMILEYS 

**Gotta Catch Em All:** IBUKI IS BLESSED, SHINY SHINY

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Nurse Joy: 😂😊**

**7:45am**

**Tiny Dancer:** omg get a room

**Gotta Catch Em All:** Ibuki wont be contAINED

**Tiny Dancer:** EW

* * *

_Private Chat- Photobomb, Bubbles_

**7:58am**

**Bubbles:** Mahiruuuuuuuuuu

 **Bubbles:** Ibukis flirting in the chat again

 **Bubbles:** They know private chats exist yea

 **Bubbles:** Why they gotta do it there

**Photobomb:** Are you sure Ibuki's flirting? I mean, she's pretty... Enthusiastic

 **Photobomb:** Plus your mind is kinda dirty 🙈

**Bubbles:** MAHIRUUUUUUU

 **Bubbles:** HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT OMG

 **Bubbles:** My mind is as clean as the rest of me, ya weirdo **  
**

**Bubbles: 😂😂😂**

**Photobomb:** You're right, I'm sorry **😂**

 **Photobomb:** I'm not very good at picking up on flirting 

_Bubbles is typing_

_Bubbles removed a message_

**Photobomb:** What did you unsend?

**Bubbles:** Finger slipped

 **Bubbles:** Howd you pick up on Hajime's crush then?

**Photobomb:** That's less to do with skill and more to do with Hajime being a lovestruck idiot /j

Bubbles: LOL

Bubbles: hes ok

Bubbles: dont tell him I said that tho

Photobomb: Of course not **😂** Your secret's safe with me

_Bubbles is typing_

_Bubbles is typing_

_Bubbles is typing_

**Bubbles:** gtg see you later Mahiru!

**Photobomb:** OK, see you later!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bandaid softness and soapies foreshadowing yessssss
> 
> Not me taking Mahiru and Hiyoko's private chat names from their ship names... Nope... (¬‿¬)
> 
> QUICK NOTE ON KOMAHINA: I tried to make Komaeda as accurate to canon as possible, as well as Hajime's reactions to his self-deprecation. Hajime doesn't want to "fix" Komaeda- he wants to understand him better, and support him in any way he can (crush aside). So, expect angst and emotional hurt/comfort in future chappies
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed! Next chap coming soon ❤


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four is here, whoop whoop!
> 
> Honestly have no idea how long this fic is gonna be 😂😂 Guess we'll just have to find out huh 😂😂
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> 
> 
> CURRENT NICKNAMES: 
> 
> Hajime- Mimosa Man
> 
> Komaeda- Hope Boner 
> 
> Mahiru- My Hero
> 
> Hiyoko- Tiny Dancer
> 
> Ibuki- Gotta Catch Em All
> 
> Mikan- Nurse Joy

**Mystery Inc** **:**

**5:28pm**

**Tiny Dancer:** Hey which chat is this

 **Tiny Dancer:** Is this the one without Komaeda

_Tiny Dancer is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** Komaeda say what

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** u realise how sus that is yeah

 **Useless Hajime:** if Komaeda WAS in this chat

 **Useless Hajime:** and saw that

**Tiny Dancer:** ur point?

 **Tiny Dancer:** I could have heaps of chats u kno

 **Tiny Dancer:** way more than u

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** ANYWAY

 **Tiny Dancer:** It's been like

 **Tiny Dancer:** five days

 **Tiny Dancer:** The weirdo barely talks

**Nurse Joy:** Maybe he's just shy?

**Tiny Dancer:** Wasnt talking to u

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Tiny Dancer: ...** But yea, maybe

 **Tiny Dancer:** Useless Hajime, u need to talk to him

**Useless Hajime:** I... Do?

 **Useless Hajime:** And you dont have to call me useless Hajime, just Hajime is fine

**Tiny Dancer:** Nah I mean START the convo

 **Tiny Dancer:** Ask him sometghing I dunno **  
  
**

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** Ask him what his fave candy is or somethijn

 **Tiny Dancer:** Just stop waiting for him to talk

 **Tiny Dancer:** Show some initiative or whatever, I dunno

_Useless Hajime is typing_

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** ... Yeah ok

 **Useless Hajime:** thats actually good advice

**Tiny Dancer:** Course it is you stupid

**5:57pm**

**Useless Hajime:** I dont know what to talk about

**6:09 pm**

**Tiny Dancer:** OMFG

 **Tiny Dancer:** I dont fking know, what are u interested in

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** I dunno, I like video games

**Ms Pac Man: 👌**

**Tiny Dancer:** K anything else

**Useless Hajime:** ... I like mochi?

 **Useless Hajime:** I sound so boring this isn't working

**Tiny Dancer:** calm down omg

**Ms Pac Man:** Ask Ko what he does for fun.

 **Ms Pac Man:** General questions like that are pretty safe

 **Ms Pac Man:** u dont have to be original

**Nurse Joy:** I think Chiaki's idea is really good

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Nurse Joy:** But that's just my opinion!!

**6:12pm**

**Useless Hajime:** ok I'll have a think about it

 **Useless Hajime:** Thanks guys, I really appreciate it

**Ms Pac Man:** 😁

**1:43am**

**Gotta Catch Em All:** OH OH

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** m/(>.<)\m

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** ( ˘︹˘ )

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** ASK HIM WHAT HIS FAV FROG IS

**Tiny Dancer:** GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

**Gotta Catch Em All:** ( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)

**Tiny Dancer:** THATS NOT EVBN A FROG

* * *

**SHSL Group Chat** **:**

**6:57pm**

**Mimosa Man:** Hey _@Hope Boner_ , I've been meaning to ask

 **Mimosa Man:** What sorts of things do you do for fun?

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Hope Boner:** Good morning, Hinata-kun. That is an interesting question, do you mind if I ask why?

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Hope Boner:** Only because I find it hard to imagine someone as hopeful as yourself having any interest in my daily life hahaha

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** I am interested! And well, I want to get to know you

 **Mimosa Man:** The girls have told me a lot of good things 

**Tiny Dancer:** excuse me

 **Tiny Dancer:** lies and slander, I wouyld nevr

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** Fine, the girls EXCEPT Hiyoko

 **Mimosa Man:** Who roasts everyone anyway, so it doesn't matter

**Tiny Dancer:** thnx

 **Tiny Dancer:** wait HEY

**Hope Boner:** That's very nice of you to say Hinata-kun 

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Hope Boner:** I know it sounds terribly boring, but I enjoy cleaning. I find it quite relaxing

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Hope Boner:** I'm sure your hobbies are much more interesting hahaha

**Mimosa Man:** Nah man thats cool. I always feel better after I've cleaned my own room

 **Mimosa Man:** Which I should probably do more often... Heh **😅**

**Hope Boner:** So what does Hinata-kun do when he's not texting? haha

**Mimosa Man:** Honestly nothing special

 **Mimosa Man:** I like playing video games, have you heard of Among Us?

**Hope Boner:** Ah, yes! I believe Chiaki-san was telling the class about it last week

 **Hope Boner:** It does sound entertaining

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** Maybe we can all play it some time? Create a private server and stuff

 **Mimosa Man:** I'm free atm if anyone else is...?

**Ms Pac Man:** hck yes

 **Ms Pac Man:** dibs on pink

**Mimosa Man:** _@Ms Pac Man_ fine 😒😂

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Hope Boner:** That does sound fun. If Hinata-kun doesn't mind...

_Mimosa Man removed a message_

**Mimosa Man:** Dude the offer was for u too 

**Mimosa Man:** _@Tiny Dancer_ you joining?

_Tiny Dancer is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** Obv

 **Tiny Dancer:** Ur goin down, u unsalted cashew

* * *

**11:21pm**

**Mimosa Man:** Chiaki...

 **Mimosa:** Is it really you?

_Ms Pac Man is typing_

_Ms Pac Man is typing_

**Ms Pac Man:** im sry Hinata

**Tiny Dancer:** how tf were you imposter 5 times in a row

 **Tiny Dancer:** I call hacks

 **Tiny Dancer:** HACKS

**Hope Boner:** I'm just impressed no one was able to murder me. I guess my luck is good for something after all hahaha

**Mimosa Man:** Komaeda, u got stuck on the card swipe 

**Mimosa Man:** You were there for 10 minutes 

**Hope Boner:** Yes, but I had Hinata-kun protecting me! That has to be good luck hahaha

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** We should do this again som time

 **Tiny Dancer:** w more people

**Ms Pac Man:** 👌

**Tiny Dancer:** gtg

 **Tiny Dancer:** Later losers

**Hope Boner:** Good night Hiyoko-san

**Tiny Dancer:** 💀

**Mimosa Man:** Jesus

**Hope Boner:** Actually that's Hiyoko

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** 👏 👏 👏

**Hope Boner:** hahahaha

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Hope Boner:** I guess it's just us now, Hinata-kun :) 

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Hope Boner:** Don't feel pressured to stay, of course. I wouldn't blame you if you'd rather leave trash like me alone

_Mimosa Man is typing_

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** Right, so that makes me wanna stick around even more

 **Mimosa Man:** So sorry to disappoint u there

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** Imma go make some coffee, brb

_Hope Boner is typing_

_Hope Boner is typing_

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Hope Boner:** Sounds good :) 

11:34pm

 **Mimosa Man:** ok im back

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Hope Boner:** Welcome back

_Mimosa Man is typing_

_Hope Boner is typing_

_Hope Boner removed a message_

**Mimosa Man:** So how do u get stuck on card swipe?? Is that a conscious decision or 😂

 **Mimosa Man:** wait sry what did u say

**Hope Boner:** Oh, sorry, I accidentally sent a voice recording.

**Mimosa Man:** Oh ok, all g

_Hope Boner is typing_

_Hope Boner removed a message_

**Mimosa Man:** ... 

**Mimosa Man:** Another voice recording?

**Hope Boner:** Hahaha yep

**Mimosa Man:** 😐

**Hope Boner:** 🙃

 **Hope Boner:** Anyhow, as for the card swipe... I'm afraid it takes years of training 😏

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sorry, accidentally sent a voice recording" yeah, sure you did, mate
> 
> Trying to convey emotions via text is SO HARD, but I'm loving this so much 😂😂 Hope y'all are enjoying it, too
> 
> Next chapter coming soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooooooooo chapter five!!!
> 
> I'm enjoying writing this fic so much, thank you to everyone who've stuck with me! I have plenty of ideas for future chapters, I'm so excited!!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> CURRENT NICKNAMES: 
> 
> Hajime- Mimosa Man
> 
> Komaeda: Hope Boner
> 
> Mahiru- My Hero
> 
> Hiyoko- Tiny Dancer
> 
> Ibuki- Gotta Catch Them All
> 
> Mikan- Tiny Dancer
> 
> Chiaki- Ms Pac Man

**SHSL Group Chat:**

**5:43am**

**Gotta Catch Em All:** Awwwwwwwwww

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** Did Ibuki miss out on Among Us

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** (╥︣﹏᷅╥᷅) 

**Gotta Catch Em All:** (╥︣﹏᷅╥᷅)

 **Gotta Catch Em All: (╥︣** **﹏᷅╥᷅)**

**6:37am**

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Nurse Joy:** I'll play Among Us with you Ibuki, if you like

**Gotta Catch Em All:** YAY YAY YAYA YAY

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** Mikan gonna play with Ibuki yayayaya

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** ಥ_ಥ

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** **👋** **≧◉ᴥ** **◉≦**

**Nurse Joy:** haha **😊**

**Gotta Catch Em All:** WHO ELSE WANTS TO PLAY

 **Gotta Catch Em All: (҂** **◡̀_** **◡́)** **ᕤ**

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** **💪(** **◡̀_** **◡́҂)**

**My Hero:** Ibuki, it's not even 7am

 **My Hero:** Who’s gonna want to play games this early in the morning

**Ms Pac Man:** XX00X0X

_My Hero is typing_

**Ms Pac Man:** code for server

**My Hero:** Chiaki when did you get here

**Gotta Catch Em All:** YESSSSSSSSSSSASSSSSS

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** 💪 (`▿´) 👊

 **Gotta Catch Em All:** PLEASE MAHIRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 **Gotta Catch Em All:**

_My Hero is typing_

**My Hero:** ... fine, but I'm cyan

**Gotta Catch Em All:** BUT IBUKI MAINS CYAN ASDFGHJKL OK 😂😂

* * *

**9:09am**

**Hope Boner:** Good luck with exam preparations everyone! I have hope in your abilities to overcome whatever obstacle the examiners intend to throw at you

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Nurse Joy:** Thank you Komaeda, that’s very kind

**Hope Boner:** Not at all, Mikan-san! It’s the least trash like me can offer to such shining rays of hope!

**_Nurse Joy is typing_ **

**_Nurse Joy is typing_ **

**Hope Boner:** Frankly, I myself can’t even prepare for my exam. How does one prepare for luck? Either I’ll fail or pass with flying colours, as is the nature of my useless talent hahahaha

_Nurse Joy is typing_

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Nurse Joy:** _@Gotta Catch Them All_

**Gotta Catch Them All:** IBUKI HAS BEEN SUMMONED

 **Gotta Catch Them All:** (ง︡'-'︠)ง (ง︡'-'︠)ง (ง︡'-'︠)ง

 **Gotta Catch Them All:** OOOOOOOH EXAMS

 **Gotta Catch Them All:** When are those again lol

**Hope Boner:** Two weeks from now, I believe

**Gotta Catch Them All:** EXCELLENT

 **Gotta Catch Them All:** Ibuki works best under pressuire yk

 **Gotta Catch Them All:** ✨(っ◔︣◡◔᷅)っc(◕︣◡◕᷅c)✨

* * *

_**Author's note: Nicknames in group chats can be seen by anyone, and changed by anyone.** _

_**Nicknames in text messages are contact names- seen and made only by owner of phone** _

* * *

_Text Message- Ibuki Mioda, Mikan Tsumiki _

**9:14am**

**Ibuki** **✿** **:** Mikan ok?

 **Ibuki** **✿** **:** Ibuki will send love until Mikan feels better

 **Ibuki** **✿** **: (ɔ** **◔** **︣‿** **◔** **︣)ɔ** **❤**

 **Ibuki** **✿** **: (ɔ˘ ³(ˆ‿ˆc)**

**🌹✨** **Mikan bby** **🙈🌼** **:** Hahaha thank you Ibuki

 **🌹✨** **Mikan bby** **🙈🌼** **:** I just um

 **🌹✨** **Mikan bby** **🙈🌼** **:** I just got a little overwhelmed

 **🌹✨** **Mikan bby** **🙈🌼** **:** But I’m ok now!! Thanks to you haha

**Ibuki** **✿** **:** That’s ok Mikan baby!! Ibuki will always help!!

 **Ibuki** **✿** **:** ❤ (ɔ˘ ³(ˆ‿ˆc) ❤

* * *

**SHSL Group Chat:**

**9:30am**

**Mimosa Man:** Ah I almost forgot about exams

 **Mimosa Man:** I need to start studying

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** _@Hope Boner_ what sort of exam do you take?? 

**Hope Boner:** Ah, well its kinda hard to explain hahahaha

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Hope Boner:** Because the exam is tailored to my talent, it generally involves tests of probability. I don't know what's going to happen until I get there, making the results completely by chance

**Mimosa Man:** wow thats pretty cool... So, like, guessing numbers and stuff?

**Hope Boner:** Ah, sometimes. Sometimes they try more... Um, interesting tests

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Hope Boner:** I'm waiting for the day they introduce Russiab Roulette or something ahahaha, now that would be a test of luck

**Mimosa Man:** Komeada please dont play Russian rouylette

**Hope Boner:** Fine, only for you Hinata-kun

**Mimosa Man:** No just dont in general

**Hope Boner:** Ooh the bell just rang

 **Hope Boner:** got to go

**Mimosa Man:** KOMAEDA

* * *

**2:53pm**

**Hope Boner:** Hey _@Mimosa Man_ , I just realised I've never asked what your Talent is!

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Hope Boner:** What a horrendous oversight, I'm so sorry

 **Hope Boner:** I really am no good at anything am I hahahahah

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** Honestly my talent is kinda embarrassing haha

 **Mimosa Man:** I dont usually talk about it

**Hope Boner:** Oh I'm sorry Hinata-kun, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable! But I can't imagine a talent being embarrassing, save for my own hahaha

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** I heard hes the Ultimate Douchebag

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** NO

**Tiny Dancer:** The Ultimate Loser

**Gotta Catch Them All:** NOOOO HE'S THE ULTIMATE PORCUPINE

**Tiny Dancer:** THE ULTIMATE IDIOT

**Gotta Catch Them All:** THE ULTIMATE BISEXUAL

_Hope Boner is typing_

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** WAIT WHO TOLD YOU IM BI

**Gotta Catch Them All:** U mean its not obv????

 **Gotta Catch Them All:** (⊙.⊙(☉̃ₒ☉)⊙.⊙)

**Hope Boner:** Oh dear

**Tiny Dancer:** it is super obv

 **Tiny Dancer:** Mahiru says she had to tutor you in geometry

**Mimosa Man:** Wat does that have to do w it???

 **Mimosa Man:** lots of people get tutoring

**My Hero:** _@Mimosa Man_ you didn't know how many sides a octagon has

**Tiny Dancer:** RIP

**My Hero:** _@Hope Boner_ what sort of talent do you think Hinata has?

_Mimosa Man is typing_

_Mimosa Man is typing_

_Hope Boner is typing_

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Hope Boner:** well I only know Hinata-kun through this group chat, but... he seems like a very kind person, and is very relaxing to talk to. He seems to be a very good listener, and he gets along with everyone regardless of differences in personality... If I had to take a guess, I would say Hinata-kun's talent is the Ultimate Serenity, or maybe the Ultimate Counselor

_Mimosa Man is typing_

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Gotta Catch Them All:** AWWWWWWWWWWWW THATS SO CUTE ASDFGJL;

**My Hero:** That's really sweet Komaeda

 **My Hero:** Hinata's pretty useless... but I can see why you'd say that :)

_Mimosa Man is typing_

**Mimosa Man:** I'm sorry, thats the nicest thing anyones ever said about me? Um

 **Mimosa Man:** aLSO fuck you Mahiru

**My Hero:** Please don't

_Tiny Dancer is typing_

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Gotta Catch Them All:** The fuck are you all talking about

 **Gotta Catch Them All:** Who the fuck is hope boner

_Hope Boner is typing_

**Tiny Dancer:** Who the fck are u huh

 **Tiny Dancer:** ur not Ibuki

**Gotta Catch Them All:** No this is Fuyuhiko

 **Gotta Catch Them All:** Ibuki passed out from laughter

**Tiny Dancer:** LOL LOL LOL

**Nurse Joy:** OMG IM COMING

* * *

_Text Message- Nagito Komaeda, Hajime Hinata_

**4:21pm**

**xxxx xxx xxx:** Hey Hinata-kun, this is Komaeda. From the group chat?  
Mahiru-san gave me your phone number, I hope you don’t mind haha  
I was just wondering if you would like to talk outside of the group chat? Just by text, or whatever you’re comfortable with! I don’t want to force you into talking to trash like me hahaha

**Reserve Course Hinata:** Hey Komaeda that sounds awesome 😊

 **Reserve Course Hinata:** Typical Mahiru, huh **😒😂** But yeah, feel free to text any time! I really enjoy talking to u

**Komaeda** ⛅: Ah, wonderful! Thank you Hinata-kun, you’re such a good friend 🙂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN
> 
> Just to clarify, the names given to characters over TEXT are their contact names in the other person's phone... Could Komaeda have discovered Hinata's identity already?
> 
> Hahaha foreshadowing ;P
> 
> Also, Bandaid is really growing on me, omg. Mikan deserves love 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Next chapter coming soon ❤


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime overthinks. 
> 
> Nagito doesn't think enough
> 
> Mahiru deserves a raise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, wonderful readers!!
> 
> I just realised how big this group chat is getting omg 😂😂😂 I have two more pairings planned- one of which I'll introduce in the next chapter. The other pairing may only be mentioned briefly, but if anyone's interested in a Kuzusoda sequel... leave a comment 🖤 
> 
> (Or just leave a comment in general lol, I love hearing for y'all 🖤🖤🖤)
> 
> Anyhow, hope y'all enjoy! And keep an eye on Koameda, that boy's getting a lil sus 😐

_Private Chat- Mum Friend, Useless Hajime_

**5:26pm**

**Useless Hajime:** Hey thanks for giving Komaeda my number

 **Useless Hajime:** Mybe ask next time? lol

 **Useless Hajime:** But srsly, thanks

**7:34pm**

**Mum Friend:** sorry I was at Hiyoko's house

_Mum Friend is typing_

**Mum Friend:** I didn't give Komaeda your number...???

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** But he texted me this afternoon? He said u gave it to him?

**Mum Friend:** Honestly I'm so tired, I don't remember him asking though

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** fck do u think he knows

 **Useless Hajime:** But why would he text if he knows 

**Useless Hajime:** fuck fuck fuik

_Mum Friend is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** fuck 

**Useless Hajime:** fuck 

**Useless Hajime:** fck 

**Useless Hajime:** fuvk 

**Mum Friend:** STOP SPAMMING AND LISTEN

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Mum Friend:** It's probably something to do with his luck cycle. Maybe he guessed the number, or he heard me telling someone else, I dunno

 **Mum Friend:** Just take a breath ok? He hasn't said anything to make me think he knows

 **Mum Friend:** You're Hinata-kun, studying overseas, remember? 

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Mum Friend:** actually, we should figure out where you're studying, that could be a problem /lh

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** your right sorry

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** Its just... Im scared. I dont want this to blow up in my face, if he finds out i'm a reserve

_Mum Friend is typing_

**Mum Friend:** I honestly don't think it'll be a problem. I know he... says stuff, but he says a LOT of stuff. When push comes to shove, he won't be able to ignore that fact that you- Hajime Hinata- are kind and considerate and actually want to get to know him. 

**Mum Friend:** If I'm honest, our class hasn't treated him the best. This is probably the most I've interacted with him since our first day

 **Mum Friend:** He's lucky he has you looking out for him, even if he doesn't know it yet /gen

**8:48pm**

**Useless Hajime:**... thank you Mahiru. I'm sorry for overreacting

**Mum Friend:** Dont apologise idiot, its understandable /gen

 **Mum Friend:** Do you want to talk about something else?

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** like why u were at Hiyokos?

_Mum Friend is typing_

**Mum Friend:** no 😁

**Useless Hajime:** srsly

 **Useless Hajime:** was it a date

**Mum Friend:** NO

 **Mum Friend:** I go to her house all the time, its normal

**Useless Hajime:** Right

 **Useless Hajime:** ... so ur married

**Mum Friend:** hahahaha 😑

 **Mum Friend:** focus on your own love life idiot

* * *

_ Text Message- Hajime Hinata, Komaeda Nagito _

**8:39am**

**Komaeda** **⛅** **:** Good morning Hinata-kun! Provided it is morning in your part of the world, that is, hahaha

**Reserve Course Trash:** Morning Komaeda! Haha yea, im in a similar time zone to Japan :)

 **Reserve Course Trash:** How is your study going?

 **Reserve Course Trash:** You have that exam coming up right?

**Komaeda** **⛅** **:** Ah, I do! I'm impressed that you remember hahaha. I'm never sure how to prepare for these things, what with my talent haha

 **Komaeda** **⛅** : Speaking of talent, what do you think of Talentless people Hianta-kun?

**Reserve Course Trash:** Um, I think they're alright? I mean, people are people, regardless of talent, you know

**Komaeda** **⛅** : I see

**Reserve Course Trash:** I mean, I know that some peopel are judgy about that kind of thing... But i dont understand judging people solely based on their talent, or lack of a talent, you know? I mean, it would be like treating Mikan as a nurse and nothinbg but- I thinkj she's a wonderful kind person, with a lot of different interests and talents

 **Reserve Course Trash:** Tho some of her interests are kinda, um, unique? Pretty sure she sent me a human bone for my birthday? 

**Reserve Course Trash:** Sorry didn;t mean to rant. Or go off topic

 **Reserve Course Trash:** Has she ever sent you human bones? 

_Read 8:47am_

* * *

_Private Chat- Mum Friend, Useless Hajime_

10:02am

 **Useless Hajime:** Ok I've blow it

 **Useless Hajime:** I've creeped Komaeda out

**Mum Friend:** How the hell did yoiu creep Komaeda out???

**Useless Hajime:** I dunno, but I've been on read for an hour now

 **Useless Hajime:** It's over, i'm done

_Mum Friend is typing_

**Useless Hajime:** Im thinking of leaving the country

 **Useless Hajime:** Might change my name

 **Useless Hajime:** What do u think if Izuru? 

**Mum Friend:** DO NOT LEAVE THE COUNTRY

 **Mum Friend:** OK thats it, you're coming with me. Meet me at the school gates in fifteen, we're going to the arcade

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Mum Friend:** I've already organised it with the others, we're going to play games and distract you from your bi panic

 **Mum Friend:** I'll see if Mitarai is available, you'll like him he's chill

_Useless Hajime is typing_

**Useless Hajime** : ... Do i have a choice?

**Mum Friend:** Nope :) See you in ten

* * *

_ Text Message- Hajime Hinata, Komaeda Nagito _

**12:34pm**

**Komaeda** **⛅** : I'm terribly sorry Hinata-kun, I didn't realise I hadn't responded to your message yet! I really am useless, aren't I hahahahaha? Can't even send a text on time hahahaha

 **Komaeda** **⛅** : What a joke

**1:23pm**

**Komaeda** **⛅** : I apologise Hinata-kun… I don’t remember sending that? Re-reading that, that’s a rather strange thing to say, I’m sorry

 **Komaeda** **⛅** : I was going to say something else… Umm…

**1:36pm:**

**Komaeda** **⛅** : I remembered what I was going to say! Haha

 **Komaeda** **⛅** : Yes, I was going to say that your take on talent and those who possess it is rather interesting. I’m not sure I agree with it myself, but you’ve made some intriguing points. Perhaps we should leave this topic for another day, though, I don’t want to bore you with my ramblings hahaha

**2:10pm**

**Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** omg im so sorry Komaeda my phone was turned off

 **Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** Yeah thats ok, and I wasnt bored or anything.

**2:19pm**

**Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** Also dont worry about filtering yourself. I want to get to know u better

 **Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** As a friend

 **Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** If u wanna be friends lol no pressire

**Komaeda** **⛅** : Thank you, Hinata-kun. And I'd love to :)

**Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** Awesome!

 **Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** So Mikan told me you blew up the science lab? gonna need details asap /lh

**Komaeda ⛅:** Ah yes

 **Komaeda ⛅:** Um

 **Komaeda ⛅:**... That was an accident 😹

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The best thing about chat fics? Any typo I make is divine inspiration. Toko Fukawa, eat your heart out 😂
> 
> I'll warn you all now, Hajime's contact name in Nagito's phone is gonna change A LOT... But only because his perception of Hajime is gonna shift a lot
> 
> Also I'm sorry if the tone markers are kinda haphazardly thrown in there- they're new for a lot of the characters (and for myself, the author tbh). I think that Mahiru, being prone to habitual sarcasm, would have to remind herself to add them so her friends don't mistake her affection. Please let me know if something doesn't make sense and I'll change it asap 🖤
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Next chapter coming soon 🖤


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CURRENT NICKNAMES:
> 
> Hajime- Mimosa Man
> 
> Komaeda- Hope Boner
> 
> Mahiru- My Hero
> 
> Hiyoko- Tiny Dancer
> 
> Ibuki- Gotta Catch Them All
> 
> Mikan- Nurse Joy
> 
> Chiaki- Ms Pac Man

_Private Chat- Kirby, Mini Miyazaki_

**2:17pm:**

**Kirby:** So Mitarai

 **Kirby:** I just had a very interesting conversation with Ibuki

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Kirby:** She just wanted to "remind me" about the group chat she invited me to, with our other classmates

 **Kirby: D** oes that sound familiar to you? Cause I don't remember ever talking to Ibuki about a group chat

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Mini Miyazaki:** OK I can explain

**Kirby:** Can you? 

**Kir** **by:** We both know I would be very interested in it, since you need to socialise with our classmates more

**Mini Miyazaki:** Look we ran out of toilet paper 

**Mini Miyazaki:** And I went to grab some real quick, as you do

 **Mini Miyazaki:** And then Ibuki or whoever ran into me and told me I should join her group chat

 **Mini Miyazaki:** Thought I was you... As me. You're really good at your job, babe

**Kirby:** Don't change the conversation, what happened then?

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Mini Miyazaki:** I told her I'd talk to her about it later

_Kirby is typing_

**Kirby:** You little shit

**Mini Miyazaki:** I am

 **Mini Miyazaki:** But you love me

 **Mini Miyazaki:** So you won't force me to join the chat, right?

_Kirby is typing_

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Mini Miyazaki:** Babe dont do it

* * *

**SHSL Group Chat :**

**2:26pm**

**_Gotta Catch Them All added Ryota Mitarai to the chat_ **

_Ryota Mitarai removed a message_

**Ms Pac Man:** Srry wha?

**Kirby:** He said "God fricken damn it"

**Ryota Mitarai:** I'm filing for divorce

**Kirby:** We're not married Ryota

**Ryota Mitarai:** Not with that attitude we're not

**Gotta Catch Them All:** OMG MITARAI YOURE SO CUTE ASDFGHKL

**Gotta Catch Them All: ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`▭´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻**

**Gotta Catch Them All:** Your partner is so poggers 

**Ms Pac Man:** yesh

_Kirby changed Ryota Mitarai's name to 'Mini Miyazaki'_

**Mini Miyazaki:** OK look

 **Mini Miyazaki:** I'm flattered that you've invited me to this chat

_Gotta Catch Them All is typing_

**Mini Miyazaki:** But I'm really busy with my anime so I wont be able to spend much time on here

**Gotta Catch Them All:** LOL 

**Gotta Catch Them All:** That's A-OK 

**Gotta Catch Them All:** Ibuki will just have to gossip with Kirby

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Kirby:** I have some great stories about Mitarai to share :)

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Mini Miyazaki:** OK fine

 **Mini Miyazaki:** But I'm call dibs on the last chocolate pudding

**Kirby:** Anything for you babe ;)

_Ms Pac Man is typing_

_Ms Pac Man is typing_

**Ms Pac Man:** cute

* * *

**3:56pm**

**Hope Boner:** Ah, I see Mitarai-kun has joined the group chat! How wonderful!

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Mini Miyazaki:** Sorry do I know you?

**Kirby:** I think that's Komaeda. You told me about him, remember?

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Mini Miyazaki:** Oh yeah, Komaeda

 **Mini Miyazaki:** Sorry about that

**Hope Boner:** No need to apologise! Trash like me is easy to forget

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Kirby:** I think the nicknames just take time to get used to. 

**Hope Boner:** True... Kirby? 

**Gotta Catch Them All:** Kirbys Mitarai's rockin partner!! They're so nice!! 

**Gotta Catch Them All:** Cuddly Kirby!!!

 **Gotta Catch Them All:** （っ＾▿＾）

**Hope Boner:** Ah I see, nice to meet you. Do you also attend Hope's Peak?

_Nurse Joy is typing_

**Kirby:** I was going to, but I've been studying from home to take care of my grandfather. He overworks himself a lot and needs someone to make sure he eats properly and gets enough sleep.

**Hope Boner:** I see! That's very hopeful of you, Kirby-san, I'm sure your grandfather appreciates it

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Kirby:** He does, when he's not complaining

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Kirby:** Apparently I nag too much, but I don't think he listens enough

**Mini Miyazaki:** Haha careful babe, you're using your grandfather's wifi, yeah? He might see your messages

 **Mini Miyazaki:** That's how wifi works

**Kirby:** I'm not sure it is, Ryota

**Mini Miyazaki:** He might hide your mochi

**Kirby:** He wouldn't dare

**Hope Boner:** Have I crossed another social boundary?

**Nurse Joy:** No, this is their flirting

**Hope Boner:** Aaaaah

* * *

**4:32pm**

**Mimosa Man:** ok I missed a lot

 **Mimosa Man:** wait did someone say mochi?

**Kirby:** Yes! I ordered it from an online seller a few days ago, and it's just arrived! It's sakura-mochi, shaped like hello kitty faces

**Mimosa Man:** omg that sounds so cool! Im not a fan of sakura-mochi tho

**Kirby:** it comes in other flavours too, I think. I'll find the link

**Mimosa Man:** Awesome, thanks!

**Kirby:** No problem

_Kirby sent a link_

**Kirby:** I haven't tried the kusa-mochi yet, but it's meant to be quite good. Might be a bit powdery 

**Mimosa Man:** omg i love kusa-mochi!! And they have pom pom purin omg

**My Hero:** I don't know what that is

**Hope Boner:** He's the Golden Retriever character, hes friends with hello kitty

**My Hero:** right

**Mimosa Man:** he was my fave when I was a kid, I named my dog after him

 **Mimosa Man:** But I couldn't pronounce it properly so I just called her Pom Pom

**Hope Boner:** That's the cutest thing I've ever heard

**Ms Pac Man:** My Melody supremacy

**My Hero:** who tf is that?

**Ms Pac Man:** blocked

* * *

_ Text Message- Nagito Komaeda, Hinata Hajime: _

**4:03pm**

**Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** Hey Komaeda, I hope this doesnt come off as weird but

_Idiot Hinata-kun 😝 sent an attachment_

**6:23pm**

**Komaeda ⛅** **:** oh my god is that Pom Pom?

 **Komaeda ⛅** **:** She's so cute!!!

**Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** Yeah! Shes an old girl now, but shes a good girl :)

_Idiot Hinata-kun 😝 sent an attachment_

**Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** from her last birthday

**Komaeda ⛅** **:** Is that a bowl of popcorn?

**Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** Yeah plain popcorn, we made sure she could eat it

 **Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** u cant really see it but we added peanut butter

**Komaeda ⛅** **:** I think you just made my night

**Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** Hahaha happy to help :)

 **Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** Do you have any pets?

**Komaeda ⛅:** Ah, no. I had a dog when I was a kid

 **Komaeda ⛅:** I called him Lucky

**Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** Thats a great dog name! 

**Komaeda ⛅:** Yeah, he was a good boy

 **Komaeda ⛅:** I'm sorry Hinata-kun, I need to go

**Idiot Hinata-kun 😝:** Thats cool! Talk later?

**Komaeda ⛅:** Yeah

* * *

_Private Chat- Kirby, Mini Miyazaki_

**Kirby:** So

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Mini Miyazaku:** So

**Kirby:** ツ

**Mini Miyazaki:** That was kind of fun

**Kirby:** It was! I'm not sure who that Hinata guy is, but he seems like a good sort

**Mini Miyazaki:** You spent an hour discussing mochi

**Kirby:** Exactly

**Mini Miyazaki:** You're such a dork 😌

**Kirby:** Takes one to know one 😌

 **Kirby:** Stopping at the supermarket, you want anything?

_Mini Miyazaki is typing_

**Mini Miyazaki:** Do they still make those Hello Kitty Pez dispensers? I'm feeling nostalgic

**Kirby:** Already on it 

**Mini Miyazaki:** Love you babe ❤

**Kirby:** ❤❤❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mitworai fluff Mitworai fluff Mitworai fluff 
> 
> I hope Twogami doesn't sound too OOC, I'm trying to write them as accurately to pre-game as possible 😂 Poor child doesn't have their own character, it's both freeing and frustrating 😂
> 
> Also, is that Komahina development?? Hmmm 
> 
> 😂😂😂 Thank you so much for reading! Next chapter coming soon


End file.
